He looks at his wristwatch, it was 2:15.

“It’s been that long, huh?” she said to him. He looks straight, staring at the emptiness in front of them. “I suppose it has been.” He replied. “What happened?” she asked.

He looks at her briefly, she doesn’t look his way. He looks down and takes a deep breath and prepares to answer her question.

“I was looking for… someone.” he said. This time she looks at him. “Did you find her? Was she everything you had hoped for?” she asked.

“No. It’s never that simple.” was all the man could say. A few moments pass, there’s this awkward silence. She stares at the man for quite a while before standing up to leave. “Where are you going?” the man asked her. “I don’t know.” she replies. And with that, she leaves, without looking back.

The man didn’t stop her, there was no point in doing so, though he wanted to.

1. Started taking boxing lessons at the start of the new year.
2. Performed w/ a band on one of my best friend’s wedding day.
3. Got so drunk on that wedding night (after party); can barely remember anything. Got voted out of the “circle”.
4. Kicked my friend’s ass in boxing.
5. Got my first boxing injury; it hurt for a couple of weeks, couldn’t turn my torso to either the left or right.
6. Got my ass handed to me by my friend (same person) in boxing.
7. Went to Tagaytay w/ the barkada. Got tipsy the night of our stay, but managed to partially get back into the “circle”. A friend tried to steal bagoong in a small dish, and got caught.
8. Performed live acoustic in Marquee Mall. I wrote one number wrong (my own number) on our info sheet by accident.
9. Auditioned for TV5′s Amazing Race later that day after the acoustic performance, and wrote one number wrong by accident, again.
10. Attempted to make videos of cover songs to upload on Youtube. Failed!
11. Was one of the Groom’s men on one of my closest friends’ wedding, got to wear a coat and tie.
12. Was forced to dance Gangnam Style on the said wedding’s reception. Failed!
13. Met amazing new people and made new (some crazy) friends!
14. Finally finished our project!

I hope to have a happy and prosperous 2013.

Music
I’ve got a nice voice, I think. I don’t want it to go to waste but I’m not keen on making a career out of it. A hobby would be nice though, I thought. Me and my friend have been trying to cover songs and making videos to upload on YouTube. Our last few attempts were… futile to say the least. One factor is the summer heat. It’s difficult making a recording trying to cancel out ambient noise by turning off the fan and closing all the doors and windows – that spells disaster. It’s fucking hot! Another factor is the audio quality of our recordings. We only have the built-in mono mic of my Olympus E-PL1 camera (really good for taking photos) for recording audio and it sucks. However, we found this nifty little gadget called the Zoom H1 Audio Recorder that would probably change things. We haven’t bought it yet, but we intend to sometime before July. We’ll see what happens after that.

Writing
I love to write. It’s one of my avenues for creativity. This blog is one of those avenues, but I feel the need to write more narratives. Hence my previous 2 entries. I consider it practice for first-person past-tense/present-tense writing, and I think I suck at it. It only means I need to write more often. Problem is, words don’t come easy for me. I’ve got a limited vocabulary and a natural propensity to screw up my grammar. Anyway, I’ve got at least three stories in line. One is a mystery-suspense-thriller (which I plan on posting here on my blog part by part, eventually), one is medieval-fantasy-action, and the last one, I’m not quite sure which category it falls in to but I’m told (by a female friend) it’s in the erotic romance section (juicy ). Good luck to me.

Reading
I read a lot. Not novels, but information. I read about anything that piques my interest. Science fiction, science fact, fantasy, real-world events, anything. I sometimes download reading materials (PDFs and e-books) just to satiate my cravings. If someone introduces me to something, some information I find interesting, I immediately dive into Google and search the crap out of it. Is this some sort of disease? If it is, I don’t really want a cure hehe.

Boxing
Yep, I’ve been boxing since the second week of January. I have a blog post about it a couple of months back. Click here if you want to read it. I go boxing at least twice a week, and I’ve had a few injuries already, but that doesn’t really stop me from going boxing again.

Games
I don’t play games as often as I did before. I hardly have any time for it anymore. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I played any of my games. But I am a gamer, and as the saying goes – Once a gamer, always a gamer. One consistent behavior I have observed of myself, I will definitely play a game when I’m craving for some good story to immerse myself in or looking for some inspiration. So I’m sure one of these days I’ll be clicking my mouse rapidly on a game I really enjoy.

Business
A friend has been asking me to join him in a business opportunity. I have made my research and I do find it lucrative, if done well (as with any business). But it will shave off at least a couple of hours of my life everyday; time, a commodity I have little of these days. I haven’t made my decision yet (at the time of writing), but it’s pretty tempting. What’s holding me back is the fact that the business is almost all about numbers, and doesn’t really require any creative output from me. Any real friend of mine knows that I HATE numbers. And the fact that there’s no creative thinking on my part, really holds me back even more. I’ve got a few days left to make my choice, and I think I’m going to spend some time trying to figure out how I could work things out, assuming I can. This friend of mine seems to believe I can make it work, I wish I had his enthusiasm.

So how do I balance all of these in my oh so busy week? Simple. I have learned to implement this really awesome system of self-discipline that really works for me. It’s the result of months of personal research. And it might work for you too. It’s called the BNSB system, or BAHALA NA SI BATMAN. Try it.

“Watching the sunset?” the man asked.

“Not really.”

“You’ve done good.” the man said. “I never really thought you’d be able to handle it.” he added.

“Me neither.” I told him. “It was very difficult. And it still is.” I said as I looked at the sun slowly coming down across the horizon.

“You do know what you have to do, right?” the man asked me as he gazed at the same direction.

I looked down at the water, washing the sand away from under my feet. “Do I really have to?” I asked as I looked at him. He looked me in the eyes and answered back “If you want to keep your sanity, yes.”

I looked at the sun again, barely breathing. He was right, I thought. Things don’t have to be complicated. But the thought of it leaves me gasping for air. It’s not something I want to do, but have to.

“It’s not going to be easy.” I told the man beside me.

“Nothing is. But you’ll get through it, you always do.” he replied.

The man seemed to know exactly what to say in any situation, he has never let me down, not once. But I’m still left to my own devices, to fend for myself, to soldier on. I was getting cold, but it wasn’t the evening air, it was just me. Sadness was enveloping me as the last glimmer of sunlight reflected on the waves, then, the sun was gone, and so was the man beside me.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, leaning forward with my hands on the edge of the counter. I looked at the man in front of me, he seemed distant, his eyes stared blankly into nowhere but itself. He seemed to be in deep thought. He was looking at me, probably wondering the same thing.

“Nightmare?” he asked. I remained silent.

“The same bad dream?” he pressed on, I didn’t reply.

“That’s been going on for a while now. You shouldn’t even be thinking about it anymore.” he told me. I looked down and let out a loud sigh. “You’re stronger than this.” he said.

“Am I?” I asked him with my head low. With how badly I felt, a little approval would be nice.

“Yes, you are.”

I sat down on the toilet with the seat up. I slumped and looked at the tiles on the wall in front of me, slowly tracing the lines with my eyes.

“Let it go, that dream of yours. You have to learn to accept things.” his voice echoed as he spoke.

“I’m trying.”

“Well you’re not trying hard enough!” he almost shouted. I felt the pain on my chest again as I thought about my dream.

“You idiot.” he scolded. “What you feel now, it’s pointless. You’re going nowhere with it.” he said.

I’ve had enough of the scolding so I stood up and started walking out of the bathroom.

“Just try to forget.” he said as I walked past the mirror.

“I wish I could. I really do.” I whispered as I closed the door behind me.

The routine for training starts off with around 20-30 minutes of jogging to warm up. Me and my friends resorted to just running around a line of badminton courts ten times, non-stop. Full-body stretching exercises follow after that, and once stretching is done, the first mits sessions begins. In-between mits sessions/round, there are other boxing drills to be done; speedball, double end bag, weaving, etc. After my first day, my body hurt like hell and I wasn’t able to go back to boxing until after a week. But after that, my body adjusted and I was already able to go boxing every other day.

It’s honestly difficult for me to find glasses that fit. When I tried shopping for sunglasses before our trek to Pinatubo, there were only 2 (out of hundreds) that fit me. When I returned for my first choice, it was already bought by someone else and the store was out of stock of that particular item, so I settled for my second choice (you can check out my pictures at my Pinatubo post).

I went to Optical Works in SM Pampanga and asked if they had lenses that offer eye protection for computer use (of course they did so this is a stupid question to begin with), they said yes and presented me with a couple of brands that offered what I wanted. What stood out was the Crizal Transition lenses by Essilor. These transition lenses are normally clear, but change to a grey/brown tint whenever it’s exposed to UV light (sun), so it doubles as sunglasses. It was pricey, but at least I have an alternative to my current sunglasses. The frame that I chose was 1 of only 2 that fit me (again). It was from Zola Eyewear, a Chinese brand (can’t find their website). The frame was similar to my sunglasses so I normally went for that one. I (sometimes) use my glasses when I’m in front of my PC, while working, and definitely while playing video games. I’ve had it for a week now and I haven’t had any eye strains whenever I’m wearing it in front of the PC, but it still takes some getting used to. I also wear it when I’m out and about because I think I look good wearing them (haha). However, I don’t think they’re as effective as Gunnars which are designed for that specific purpose.

The frame was worth P3,400 (I think) while the lenses cost me around P5,000, so that’s a grand total of P8,400 if my math is correct (heh). Quite expensive for a pair of glasses but it’s worth it. I take care of my belongings and this will last me for a couple of years or more, unless someone accidentally sits on them.

Inspiration is fleeting, act..

If you’ve got an inspired thought, act on it. Don’t let the moment pass you by. Chances are, if you do, you’ll lose the motivation to do something about it later on. That’s why when an idea comes along, write it down, discuss it with someone who you think can contribute to the idea, but don’t let it just stay in your head and let it rot. Now if you’re already moving, don’t stop or you’ll lose your momentum, and your focus in the process.

Opportunities can be made..

I have lived with this principle for as long as I can remember. And I’m fortunate enough that it has manifested several times and I have reaped the benefits. Sure, opportunities can come knocking at your doors and even windows, and you might have the luxury of actually choosing which opportunity to take. But most people aren’t so lucky. That doesn’t mean it’s the end of it. Why wait for opportunities to come when you can go out and find them yourself. That is the big difference between those who wait for something to happen, and those who things happen.

Passion is the best motivation..

Passion is THE best motivation in any sort of endeavor or situation. Imagine yourself in a relationship, how would you describe your attachment to your partner (and vice versa), are you passionate about each other? If so, then you’ve got a really good thing going. If not, then what is keeping you together? Tolerance? Complacency? Money? Guilt? Or just “because”? Think about it.

One my friends recently (technically 2012 but I’m going to put it here anyway) reminded me about something called passion. Well, he reminded me indirectly and inadvertently while we were discussing his work. He was so caught up in what he was doing, and he knows what he wants to get out of it. He’s a budding social tech guru and a long lost friend of mine. He runs this tech blog call The Technoclast which features some good reviews of gadgets, from digital cameras to smartphones. I guess I got something more out of our conversation other than stories of cool tech products and sexy booth babes – that is reminding myself of why I became who I am today.

Real passion is something of a lose cannon. It will drive you to do things that would normally be considered crazy. But let me quote Steve Jobs on this:

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

I’m not in any way comparing myself to Steve Jobs. I’m merely stating the fact the those who know what they want to achieve and are passionate to do something it, get what they want.

Retail therapy is bad for the most part..

If you’ve got problems, never involve your money. I’ve engaged in gadget retail therapy several times last year and ended up regretting my purchases. I have sold most of what I bought for a lower price (even as low as half the original price) because I simply didn’t like them (stupid), and it’s really hard to sell an already opened item, even with the box and all its contents. I’m the kind of person who researches about a product before deciding on making a purchase (specially with gadgets), but when I have problems, all of that goes out of the window. Some people eat when they have problems, I buy stuff. Now I’m broke, poor me.

“Oh, you know who I am.” the shadow replied. I was at-a-loss by what he said, but somehow he was right. I did recognize him, vaguely; he’s someone I haven’t seen for a very, very long time.

“So…” I said.

“So…” he mimicked.

Still surprised by his sudden appearance, I asked him “What brings you here?”

“I think you know the answer already.” he said coldly.

I paused for a moment, wondering what he meant. But at the back of my head, I knew what he was talking about. And the moment I grasped the obvious, he gave a slight chuckle, as if he was connected to my thoughts. “What took you so long to realize that?” he jested.

“So why are you here now?” I asked with a long face.

“You tell me.” he said. I looked down and reflected on my life, trying to remember the last time I saw him. “You weren’t there after I dropped out from the first college I went to.” I told him.

“Nope. Wasn’t there at all.”

“And you weren’t there after I was a bum for a year, and argued with my dad about it.”

“You were always so stubborn. No, I wasn’t there either.”

I stared blankly at my window, into the emptiness of the night. “You never needed me because I was never relevant to you or your situation.” he said. “Your decisions then made you who you are now. And you knew that even before, you were so sure of yourself. It’s who you are!” now he was lecturing me. “I’m here now because, well, you know what you did. And now you’re not so sure anymore.”

I held my gaze in the same direction, still trying to digest what he just said. He was here for a reason, a reason I brought onto myself, apparently.

“How long will you be staying?” I asked, as if oblivious of the answer.

“So long as I’m relevant.” he replied.

I let out a loud sigh. “Well, that sucks.” I said.

“It does. Deal with it.” he told me with finality.

05:20:
Junel arrived at our house, wearing a red long-sleeved shirt, and bringing a black backpack, which at first I thought was our food; too bad. We had some breakfast first and talked for a while about how excited we both were for the trip. We then played Bad Company 2 on my PC to pass time while waiting for the others to arrive.

05:45:
A lot of dead noobs later, our friend Elai arrived bringing her car. I managed to convince her to let me drive by threatening her with the forceful words “Can I drive, please?” with batting eyelashes, while Junel was to be my navigator. We stayed for a while and killed some more noobs while waiting for the fourth member of the pack to arrive.

06:25:
Hundreds of dead players later, Gizelle finally arrived, at last, thank goodness. We started loading our bags and double checking if we had all the things we needed; food, drinks, extra clothes, a retractable gurney. Since I was going to drive and was still unfamiliar with Elai’s car, I was given a short tutorial. After a brief lesson of how the windshield wipers worked, we went on our merry way to fetch the fifth and last member of the group.

06:40:
We arrived at Ethel’s place (which was conveniently along the way) to pick her up. It was still early, our contact said that we should be at our destination by 8 for the registration. Junel was confident we could make it, so we put our trust in his word, reluctantly.

06:45:
The long journey towards Pinatubo begins. We took the long and winding road of MacArthur Highway going to Tarlac. I advised my passengers to sleep along the way, except for my navigator, as it would be an hour of driving at most.

07:05:
Junel proved himself to be a good navigator, as he managed to direct me at every opportunity to overtake or not overtake another vehicle, tells me whether or not it’s safe to take the shoulder, and pointed out the occasional crap on the road.

07:15:
The girls took pictures of themselves in the backseat, pretending to be asleep, while smiling. I didn’t know exactly how that would work but whatever makes them happy.

07:20:
My navigator started to annoy me. “Ops, dahan dahan.”, “Liko sa kanan.”, “May truck, di aabot.”, “Stay ka lang diyan.”, “Overtake na!”, “Slow down.”, “Oh bakit ka nag be-break?”, “Tae tae!” Annoying.

07:30:
We passed the Death March Shrine. Elai took a lot of pictures, without getting any real good ones. Tragic.

07:45:
We started wondering if we were lost. We checked the map again to verify our location, but the map was useless, it wasn’t up to scale. So again, we put our trust in our navigator, who was confident that we were on the right track. But we had to make sure so we stopped by the side of the road and asked the first person we saw. She confirmed that the Pinatubo Spa Town (our destination) was still some distance away, we just had to stay our course, and follow the bovine shit-laden road.

07:50:
We finally arrived at our destination. Pinatubo Spa Town, Brgy. Sta. Juliana, Capas Tarlac. We went about and paid the registration fee, which was P4,000 (total); this includes the 4×4 vehicle, the guide who will accompany us, and lunch. We paid an additional P350 each for the boat ride on the crater lake. We also signed a wager stating that the Spa Town will not be held responsible for any injuries incurred during the trek, including, but not limited to, dead toe nails.

08:15:
Ah, look at us. All smiles and hopeful of the adventure we’re about to have, oblivious of the suffering we were about to endure. Classic.

08:20:
We saw our ride for the first time. The grayish blue 4×4 of doom. It’s old, very basic, but of sturdy construction (almost). It was our ride for the next hour and a half. The four sat at the backseat while I stayed in front. They discussed about the repercussions of farting inside the 4×4 while I tried to maintain three jugs of diesel upright between my feet, easier said than done.

We also talked about how the ride would go. Elai mentioned that there were 4 levels of terrain:

Level 1: Sand paths
Level 2: Rough patches of terrain
Level 3: Steep inclines
Level 4: Boulders!

The first half hour or so of the 4×4 ride wasn’t all that bad. We traversed through relatively flat sand paths for the most part, then across streams and the occasional rough patches of terrain. It was the easiest part of the trip.

09:00:
We stopped over at the bottom of a steep incline (the start of Level 3) to let the driver and our guide refill the gas tank and prepare the 4×4 for the arduous journey up ahead. We took some pictures of the scenery, and of ourselves to pass the time.

We also took pictures of what looked to be the beginning of Level 3. The image in front of us carried with it a mixture of emotions; excitement, fear, doubt, and anger at the person who thought about this trip in the first place.

09:50:
Yes you read that right. It was 50 minutes of butt bumping through Level 3 and 4 terrain. The 4×4 was shaking so wildly that the spare tire at the back got unhinged and was swinging back and forth, making loud thumping noises. We stopped a couple of times for the driver to fix that but he gave up after the third time it happened. The jugs of diesel beneath my seat tumbled several times as I tried to maintain them, while I held on tightly to the handlebar in front of me. We were all too busy trying to keep ourselves secured in our seats that we managed to take only a few pictures of the surroundings, of how Level 3 and 4 looked like. Inclines included 45+ degrees of going up and going down hill. Rocks the size of basketballs littered the road (really!), nothing the 4×4 can’t handle, but a lot for our butts to absorb. I bet we were all thinking the same thing; when will this ever end?

After that very, very long 50 minutes, we arrived at the next stop over, the end of the line for the 4×4, and the start of the long walk to the Pinatubo crater. There were a lot of other 4x4s in the area, by people who came and went before us.

09:55:
The long trek begins. The first half of the trek was through a rocky canyon, with streams of flowing water. It was a 30-minute (or so) walk from the start to the halfway point.

10:20:
We reached the halfway point of the trek. I checked my shoes and they were dead. The sole on the sides of each shoe were wide open, but it was still attached to the rest of the shoe from the front end and the back. Good old hiking shoes they were, and they served their purpose.

I looked at the others, we were all spent. We took our sweet time to rest, eat, and drink, before heading out again for the next half of the trek, nobody was excited anymore.

10:45:
We started walking again. I thought we made it this far, what the heck then, let’s go. The next half of the trek was going deeper into the mountains, and the pathway became narrower and narrower. A few minutes into the trek, I started thinking that this half was easier than the first. But then I saw the remains of a white rubber shoe, resting along the rocks on the side of a small stream. Great. At least the trek only lasted about 15-20 minutes, from what I can recall.

11:00:
Beyond the many steps of stairs was a wooden signboard saying “Welcome to the majestic crater of Mt. Pinatubo”. It was a welcome sign indeed. And the view of the crater from where we were standing was just as what the signboard said – Majestic. We descended the stairs going down to the side of the lake, and rested there for a while, taking pictures and talking, before we had our lunch.

There were many happy campers beside the lake, there were even two hot white chicks (real ones) in bikinis, sunbathing on the beach. There was a group of mountaineers setting up their tents near the clear water. There were also some military personnel, and the guides of each group of people camped together in one place.

12:20:
A short while after having our lunch, we all headed out to the side of the lake to take the boat ride. The water was as blue as the sky. It wasn’t as clear as I thought as it was hard for me to see the bottom even on shallow water. The crater walls looked incredibly high from the lake. We even witnessed a landslide (a minor one) on one side of the crater wall.

The boat trip to the other side of the lake took about 10 minutes. After we unloaded, our guide gave us a few facts about the crater lake. He used his paddle to dig a small hole in the ground beside the beach and showed us that the water was hot enough to boil an egg. Steam vents were scattered along parts of the crater wall, and he told us a story about how a PHIVOLCS expedition ended in mishap; some volcanologists suffered major burns as they stepped onto unstable ground and had a dip into some really hot sand. After about 10-15 minutes of sight-seeing, we headed back to the tourist zone.

01:20:
We rested for a bit while Junel and Ethel took a dip in the water. The sun was searing hot, so Gizelle brought out her huge abaniko to keep her cool. It was five times the size of a normal abaniko, and you had to hold it w/ two hands to use it, too bad I don’t have a picture of it. I still wonder how she got that into her backpack.

02:00:
We started getting ready for our trek back. Junel and Ethel changed clothes while the rest of us waited on a shed near the wooden signboard. When it was time to go, Junel and I telepathically communicated that it was time. And we invited the girls back to the ledge with the spectacular view of the crater behind it so we can take more pictures.

02:25:
Before anything else, earlier in the morning, Junel showed me a small black box. I was surprised, and was very happy for my dead friend. Wait, I mean dear friend. We discussed the different possibilities of how the life-changing event would go, and settled for the best idea we could think of. He was supposed to do what he needed to do back on the boat but he was scared the thing would slip through his hands and fall from the boat, that would’ve been funny.. I mean tragic (haha).

So the moment we’ve all been waiting for has arrived. This was the purpose of the whole trip, and I wouldn’t have endured it if it weren’t for this event. While we were taking the couple’s pictures, without warning, Junel went down on one knee, and from his pocket he brought out the black box he’s been holding on to, and presented it to Ethel. Whatever he said, I couldn’t remember. I think he said something like “I have waited for so long to ask you this question. To show you how much I love you, and ask you to make you mine forever. To put my very best foot forward and be the man you have always wanted. Will you marry me?”.

Nah, he didn’t say that. I think it was more closer to “Oh shit.. muntik ng mahulog.. anyway, will you be my wife?”. Whatever he said (we don’t really remember, even Junel doesn’t remember), Ethel was speechless and tears started rolling down her cheeks. It was a proud and happy moment for both of them as she said “Yes.” and Junel slipped the ring through her finger.

02:30:…
We started heading back to the 4×4 stop-over. It was all a blur. We just kept on walking back to where we came from. Elai seemed to be the most motivated to go home as she was always in front of the pack. Only a few pictures were taken after this point; everyone was too tired to pull out their cameras and shoot. We were second to the last to leave the 4×4 stop over.

During the ride back to the spa town, I slipped in and out of consciousness (too sleepy haha) even with all the bumping we had to endure. Elai also fell asleep during the journey. There’s no road bumpy enough for sleepy travelers.

05:00 – 7:30:…?
I still drove on the way home, and by the time we were at Clark, I was already too sleepy that I had to slap myself in the face to keep me awake. I honestly can’t remember what time I got home. But as soon as I felt the comfort of my bed, I went to sleep.

Twas an interesting journey, one that I intend to take again in the future. A very far future..